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What should you have said? NOTHING,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! You do not have to apologize. Avoid the EXCUSABLES group. Keep those thoughts and that self-doubt to yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
CONDITIONALS: You want your audience to trust in what you say. They must believe that you know your subject, and your information is correct. So why do you begin your report with conditional comments?
• This is the best (worst) ever . . .
• Absolutely perfect.
• It is unlike any other.
What happened?
You are excited as you walk to the lectern. You think that, to gain their trust,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you should be totally honest. So you tell them the truth, basically saying, “Please excuse me if I don’t meet all your expectations:
Can you uncover the reasons? What were those groups? What did they do,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
What should you have said? Be reasonable in your qualifiers. Avoid making your points INCREDIBLE (not credible at all). You can underscore your points without advancing to the superlatives.
By Fred Haley
See all Articles by Fred Haley ToastMentorSee Fred Haley ToastMentor's Expert PageGet Updates on Public SpeakingGet Updates on Fred Haley ToastMentor Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet
To gain your audience’s trust and confidence in your message, craft your words carefully. Avoid those groups that will erode the connection with your audiences: the EXCUSABLES, the CONDITIONALS, and the INCREDIBLES. Your credibility and your confidence depend on it.
GROUPS TO AVOID
These groups are not organizations, associations or businesses. I am referring to words - categories of phrases that can easily seep into your presentations. You think that they add strength to your message. They do not.
What should you have said? NOTHING EXTRA! You do not need to qualify your comments. Avoid the CONDITIONAL statements. Do your proper research. At least make it sound that you believe what you are saying. Don’t say, “I think that the sky is blue.” Just say, “The sky is blue.” Express full confidence.
Then you are introduced to three groups. You believe they will bring your speeches to a higher level. You expect a stronger connection with your audience.
It is not working, but you don’t notice it at first. You start losing credibility. Before you realize, audiences are enjoying your presentation, but are not convinced. Your message is not connecting. Your confidence is disappearing. You feel that you are regressing.
What did you just say? Essentially, “I am not ready to talk to you.” If you are not ready, then why should we listen to you? Come back when you are ready.
EXCUSABLES: Your first goal as a speaker is get the audience to trust you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They should believe that you believe in your message.
Your audience wants you to succeed. They want you to do well so that they can be entertained, informed and inspired. Your self-confidence grows. As you become more confident, you build credibility.
What are you saying? By exaggerating your point to the extreme, the audience automatically starts to question them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you. You make it harder for the audience to believe you. You have lost credibility.
These phrases are often uttered out of nervousness. You make excuses. Your audiences do not want to hear excuses. Sure, they will be polite. They will listen. But they will not accept you or your message.
Author's Bio:
What are you saying? “I am not sure if what I am saying is true.” Your audiences do not want to hear that you are not sure what you are talking about. It should be fact. You should convince them that you are certain.
• I think that ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. .
• In my opinion ,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. . .
• As I understand, . . .
• BUT, this is my first time.”
• BUT, I am not an expert.”
• BUT, I am just learning.”
• BUT, I am not sure.”
Let me introduce you to: the EXCUSABLES, the CONDITIONALS, and the INCREDIBLES. These phrases and comments are common to many speeches: common, but harmful.
A few of you might say,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “Maybe it’s the blonde in me.”
BE PREPARED
Looking back, you recognize you were focusing on these three groups too much. Your problem started then. It was subtle. It felt good. It felt right. But it was going all wrong.
You set provisional stipulations in case you were wrong. You say them because you start do doubt yourself. What if there is an exception? What if you missed something?
INCREDIBLES: You want the audience to accept your message. You are excited. To add emphasis so that the audience will be fully convinced,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you make a descriptive commentary to your facts and points,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], as:
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Visualize driving down Interstate 95 at 60 miles per hour and turning your steering wheel 1/96th to the left. Will you crash immediately and die? No. But eventually you will hit the guardrail, roll over and end your life.