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To avoid this situation, and to prevent others from experiencing it, you must think proactively about present and future benefits (e.g., what's in it for them, what you have of value to offer, and how they can profit). This is the foundation for the proverbial "win-win" scenario.
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By learning to be mindful of reciprocal actions, you inevitably increase the abundant benefits of reciprocity for yourself, and others in a way that Zig Ziglar would surely be proud of.
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In business, this is where there is an abrupt departure.
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Recently I severed a business relationship that I once valued. It was not something that I did impetuously; on the contrary, I had been contemplating this move for quite some time. The delay was not in the deliberation, but in maintaining the hope that things would get better - which it didn't.
But when the benefits received on behalf of one party far outweigh the benefits of the other, or elude you altogether,[url=http://www.asauk.co.uk/barbourjackets.html]barbour sale[/url], you feel short-changed. Such an imbalance will ultimately result in discord, or as was the case in my situation, dissolution.
Cialdini's Rule of Reciprocity may be misnamed if reciprocal thinking is human nature and business relationships,[url=http://www.bessis.com/hollisterfr.html]hollister france[/url], and business itself, depends on it. Instead of viewing this as a give/take situation,[url=http://www.lasabbiona.it/moncleroutlet.asp]moncler outlet[/url], we should focus on the benefits of reciprocity.
In the end,[url=http://www.labsag.co.uk/hollisteruk.html]hollister[/url], you have to be able to hold people accountable to the benefits that they advertise to you with diplomacy and tact. If they are not advertised and are only perceived (by you or the other party), then they must be articulated. This serves as a form of documentation that can be acknowledged and measured at a later date, if necessary.
Often people don't see or realize what reciprocal benefits there are to be offered to others because they are instinctively focused on their own. It's best to be up-front about these matters in the beginning, and during the course of any long-term working relationship. The phrases "I owe you,[url=http://www.bessis.com/FR-jordan.html]air jordan[/url]," or "I can't wait to return the favor" are checks that you can cash at a later date.
Many years later I incorporated Zen into my life. One of the basic tenets of Zen philosophy is giving without the expectation of receiving. As a person, and as a service-oriented business professional, my path and mission were clear: give more than is expected.
At the heart of the matter were my deeply entrenched feelings of being used (i.e.,[url=http://www.futuricampioni.it/scarpehogan.html]scarpe hogan[/url], taken advantage of). We've all been in situations, but to be in a relationship - personally or professionally - where you constantly feel this way, is a tell-tale sign that reciprocity, or a lack thereof, is missing.
These benefits are not only experienced when we receive, but also when we give. They are predicated upon actions, reciprocal actions, and interactions which have a positive domino effect. It's true that in a community in which we take care of each other, everyone will be taken care of.
Robert Cialdini, a Professor of Psychology at Arizona State University elaborates on what he calls "the Rule of Reciprocity" in his book Influence:
While munificence may go a long way toward building good will and being liked in business,[url=http://www.bessis.com/monclerpascher.html]doudoune moncler pas cher[/url], it will have an adverse effect on the bottom line. Personally,[url=http://www.labsag.co.uk/hollisteruk.html]hollister uk[/url], it's important to note that people rarely give without the expectation of receiving something in return. It's just human nature. Zen practice attempts to make you aware of that so that you can give freely without expectation.
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Although managers would like to think differently, people don’t come to work with the company goals on their mind; neither do they think about how much money the company is making. People come to work concerned about themselves. People focus on deeper internal concerns like their own personal challenges at home, personal goals,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], their money pressures, and relationship problems. People come to work wondering if they will find support, opportunities to develop, and of course have interesting work to do.
A new leadership approach is required now!
What specific action can you take today as a result of reading this article so you can role model great coaching?
The Emphasis should change
As a result of reading this article, what steps might you take to better lead yourself and others?
Coaching requires daily communicating with followers, asking better questions, focusing more on what is working vs. what is not working. When managers only focus on fixing problems, they find more problems and end up wasting time on low priority problems which don’t need to be fixed. People aren’t broken, the systems which they work under are! Leaders strongly influence the behavior in the organization. Great coaches understand this.
Organizational life by definition is not always like family. It is focused on making money, maintaining stability, and compliance. For some,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], it can feel like job prison, especially for those who don’t enjoy their work. As a result, people often don’t go out of their way to take risks, offer new ideas, be creative or show courage at the office. People don’t feel like being punished if they make mistakes or if their ideas will not be appreciated. Sadly, this is the opposite of what managers need from their people to do at work. We need people rocking the boat,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], challenging the status quo when they feel it is necessary. But, how exactly do we enable people to do this to advance both their own development and the goals of the organization? After many years of managing and leading people, I know that this is the challenge. So the most important question to ask is how to make work more human, more joyful, and at the same time enable people to achieve their goals while helping to advance the goals of the organization.
Craig Nathanson
Coaching focuses on positive feedback and not evaluation
There are many opportunities to apply coaching throughout the course of one’s management day. A crisis, career development discussion,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a decision to be made, confusing goals, or peer relationships issues, all are good reasons to apply coaching. Coaching is not oriented towards solution giving, opinion giving, leading to manager’s personal agenda or asking why something is not working. This approach can cause a person to go backwards and not forward. Coaching behavior starts with having the person’s best interests at heart. Coaching is about working together keeping the focus on people and their needs.
I like to advice people who want to go into management that they should enjoy being a teacher. A great teacher like a great coach has both the developmental interests of people and the organizational goals in mind. This approach places the emphasis on people, unlike outdated management theories of one way monitoring (scientific management) and reward and punishment (Behaviorism). This enables joyful and productive work in the long term. This doesn’t mean making more money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a corner office, or better job title. It is about whether a person feels valued at work and has trusted and open relationships. And more importantly, this approach enables people to see the bigger picture: a connection of a vision of the organization and their own life.
I’ll be cheering you on as you go!
By Craig Nathanson
See all Articles by Craig NathansonSee Craig Nathanson's Expert PageGet Updates on Management SkillsGet Updates on Craig Nathanson Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes) Tweet
The gap between personal goals and company goals
Many managers prefer to manage in autocratic ways barking orders and not listening well. Others just feel more comfortable micro-managing. This isn’t healthy for people of the organization or society. Adults are really just like children except we have bigger bodies. Children like to enjoy what they do, have good relationships, and be heard while having opportunities to express themselves. So do adults! Coaching does require more patience and more time. In spite of this, if we stand back and look at our world, our society,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], our sagging economy, we will see that a new type of leader is required now, a type of leader who is a great coach at the same time.
The carrot and stick approach doesn’t work if we want people to accomplish great things at work. We need a new approach: a humanistic approach which places people over profit. This doesn’t need to make stockholders turn in their sleep. Placing an emphasis on the person at work as the center will not only make work more enjoyable which is good for people and society, it also will enable people to achieve more and this creates more profit.
Vision and structure
To be a strong leader takes a compelling vision for people. It also requires an ability to set up goals and follow-up on it. In addition to this, to enable great things through people, it takes a softer side, a caring side. That is what you call coaching. Focused on enabling great results through people, coaching requires different skills than just leading and managing. These are the new pillars of enabling growth at work, internal motivation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and greater productivity. This is a combination of leadership, management, and coaching.
Coaching requires better questions
Here are three of them:
Coaching takes time
How might you start thinking differently about how you lead yourself and others?
Coaching as the path to leading others
Many people who I meet don’t enjoy their work and aren’t as productive as they could be. I rarely these days meet people who are passionate about their work. Many work cultures treat their people like children demanding compliance. These same environments are filled with negative punitive terms such as probation, execution, verbal warning, performance management, 360 degree assessment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], ranking and rating etc. We need to move away from empty terms, the urge to rank and rate people making them compete against one another at work. We must resist the urge to develop categories of people: good performers, bad performers, fast trackers, high potential, talent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and other management related empty terms. When people are forced to compete we end up with winners and losers. There is no reason for punishment at work unless of course someone breaks the law!
Any good parent or good athletic coach is focused on enabling growth, achievement, and learning. If you think about personal relationships, the most successful are those where the spouse is supportive. This is the same coach that is needed in organizational life. What is coaching? Coaching is about asking questions which enable people to make better decisions,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], solve more challenges on their own, and have better interpersonal relationships along the way. These all lead to productive work and goals being met. Coaching is about having empathy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], assuming that all people have the resources they need to be successful. Great coaching enables people to step back and place a better frame around a situation, to look at it from a new perspective to imagine new possibilities.
This takes a new emphasis – Coaching
Author's Bio:
Enter Coaching
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Representing Korean sports stars,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], marathoner Lee Bong-ju,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], will carry the Olympic torch for half a mile during the 2002 Salt Lake Olympic Torch Relay in Salt Lake City on February 8,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the day before the opening ceremony.
Lee is the second Korean athlete to carry a Winter Olympic torch after pro baseball star Lee Seung-yeop,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], who carried the flame in 1998 Nagano Olympics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Japan. After passing the Winter Games torch on and attending the opening ceremony on February 9,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he will meet with Korean fans in the Samsung PR center located in the city and cheer for Korean athletes.
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(Kang Ho-cheol,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], [link widoczny dla zalogowanych])
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